What's The Intense Attachment That You Can't Seem To Shake?

I get this question often. While it's true that Twin Flames experience an intensity and certainly an attachment, we aren't discussing Twin Flames as much as we're discussing that overwhelming attachment to that one particular soul whom you may have felt was very similar to your twin, or your awakening catalyst. I have had many come to me with an intense attachment that they cannot seem to shake (and not for lack of trying, either.) It's so overwhelming it can actually cause you to become stagnant in your spiritual journey because of this all-encompassing, nearly addictive in nature energy. You really want to move forward but you try and you're still inundated with synchronicity, the signs that they deliver and the pressure of the connection. You may even say, "This person isn't my Twin Flame and their energy is simply bogging me down. While I want to move on forward with my life and connect to the right one, I an stuck." It's a royal pain, so here is the explanation of these attachments, why they exist and how to move forward. 

What The Attachment Is:

These attachments can be in many forms: friends, lovers, former lovers, acquaintances, co-workers, relatives of friends, the possibilities are literally endless. Regardless of whom they are or how you happened to connect and meet, the attachment is overwhelming. 

An attachment like this easily feels like an obsession. An obsession begins when the desire takes over the logical, reasonable mind. While you still maintain a certain amount of logic and reason, when it comes to this attachment, you're going to feel like toast because it's just too intense and overwhelming. So, why did your emotion take over your logic? In your sane, sound mind, you know right from wrong and you're not crazy, you're not the only person going through this.

I have a friend who is very logical, successful at work, reasonably successful at everything she does or tries. She's attractive, smart, has a winning personality and a fun, creative nature. She's 29 years-old and feels ready for marriage and family. She comes from a traditional family (good people) and was raised with good values. So, why is she so "obsessed" as she puts it, with a man who left her? he not only left her but he wronged her terribly. Her words to me were, "I am logical about literally everything and I'm a reasonable person. I'm able to meet men, no problem, but whenever I try the syncs start again and I can't get him out of my head, please help me." Sound like YOU? Keep reading then.

Why Do These Attachments Happen?

Most people go through several awakenings throughout their lifetime. Awakenings can happen as a result of almost anything but the most common are substantial life experiences, trauma and soul connections with others. Your awakening process will be unique to you. Awakening is a part of Ascension. Ascension is a process. Ascension is the process through which one's soul being rises and becomes one with all that is, and receives the necessary knowledge and understanding within their intuitive soul being as they become one with all that is.

Some experience several awakenings while others experience one major awakening. And still, others experience small awakenings leading up to one large awakening followed by a catalyst and others experience awakenings AS A RESULT OF a particular soul connection. Some go through their entire lives with no particular note of awakening then one day, boom, a Catalyst appears to awaken them. ANY SOUL CONNECTION THAT CAUSES AN AWAKENING WE REFER TO AS A CATALYST BECAUSE WHILE THEY MAY BRING MANY ATTRIBUTES TO THE CONNECTION, THEY OFFER A CATALYTIC EVENT (YOUR AWAKENING IN THIS CASE.)

Catalyst Experiences Lead To Your Ascension:

Some people liken their Catalyst experience to that of the Twin Flame due to the intensity, synchronicity, coincidences, universal messages, the intensity of attachment, the "general weirdness" that seems to surround the connection, the running and chasing that tends to accompany it and of course, the Ascension process. Catalyst awakenings can sometimes also be confused with Counterfeit Twin Flames because of everything that they bring to the connection. One of the things that separate Twin Flames from other types of connections is the Divine Mission, Soul Merge and other aspects. And even still, sometimes, part of one's Twin Flame Journey To Union (to connect to one another) is to actually deal with certain other soul connections along the way, prior to meeting and even after connection. So yes, Catalysts are extremely important. 

To some, meeting their important catalysts doesn't cause one lick of trouble. These are usually quite ascended folks and they're able to move forward with no troubles at all (good for them!) They are able to spot their true Twin Flame with ease and embark on their journeys with no issues. Separation may feel draining or unpleasant, but they're not bogged down by distressing catalysts. These folks, keep up the good work, we're all proud of you! For others though, it doesn't come so easily.

The Catalysts...they teach the valuable soul evolution you will use in order to move forward, complete your missions and ascend. During the connection it's rare to be able to actually see what we are learning. It's after the connection ends that you will look back and realize what you learned. Preparation. Carpenters say the more prep work you do, the better your final result. The same rings true in your mission. For example, a writer I know couldn't have written what she does without her previous experiences with catalysts. An artist friend of mine couldn't paint what she paints from her soul without her Catalyst experiences and her Twin Flame may be a muse for her, an inspiration for her and he's wonderful to her, but her soul encountered experiences that allow for her creativity to flow.

Thanks For Explaining The Why, Helena. So Why Can't I Shake This Obsessive Attachment Feeling? 

First, that "obsessive" feeling isn't exactly what you think it is. Remember, obsession is when desire (emotional) takes over one's logical (reasonable) mind. At the onset of one's Ascension process, one gains a tremendous amount of EMPATHY (emotional response and sympathy for all living and some non-living things and beings as well as situations.) This EMPATHY (emotional angle) is INTENSE AND OVERWHELMING.

You might start feeling empathy not just for those around you, but for all living beings: strangers, animals both great and small, even bugs. You might go to swat a fly and stop yourself because you're overwhelmed with empathy for that fly. Your LOGICAL MIND says, "it's just a body with a nervous system, it is a bug and doesn't have emotions..." Then your EMPATHY TAKES OVER AND REBUTTALS ARE MADE: So you say, "But has there been scientific testing to this effect and is there proof...I am not taking that chance." So, you open the door instead of swatting in hopes the annoying thing will just find its way out. THIS EMPATHY IS EMOTIONAL. And, when we experience this onset of emotional empathy, we attach to a soul, typically our awakening catalyst. The attachment can easily become like a feeling of obsession because they will be often if not always on your mind. 


What Are These Syncs All About, Then?

As you know, synchronicity are always an aspect of GUIDANCE. Syncs come to deliver the Signs. The Signs are the actual messages that you will want to pay attention to. Syncs are the coincidental, interesting things that happen to jump out at you and grab your attention. They grab your attention for good reason: in order to deliver to you a Sign which is your message. 

I see many people who see the Syncs all the time but they pay close attention to those Syncs but totally forget about the Signs. It is the Signs that are the actual messages.

How To Interpret Your Messages:

Pay attention to the Syncs that grabbed your attention then look at the messages they deliver called Signs.

For example:  If you see someone's name this is a Synchronicity. If you see certain numbers such as seeing the 11's can refer to a Sync as well. Pay attention to these Syncs but look at where you see them, what's going on around them, when and how they appear and the frequency, to determine the Sign which is the message. It's the message that is important.

You may find that you see the same Syncs over and over. This is because they will keep coming to you until you accurately and correctly understand the message they're sending. Once you understand the message, then they will lighten up or cease all together, for you'll require no guidance at that time. 

Syncs are normal to notice throughout your day and your life, especially once you have entered your Ascension process. Remember, not all Syncs or Signs always mean what you believe them to mean. When in doubt, ask God.

You will receive an answer. Remember, the darkness likes to be tricky and pretends to be helpful spirits, entities, dead loved ones and they love to pretend to be angels (angels, by the way, are God's army and do not come down to tell your fortune) and the negative love nothing more than to keep people in a vicious cycle of confusion with snippets of "what feels like clarity" so ask directly God no other entity.

If you are not seeing many syncs it likely means that you're not receiving any guidance at the moment which means that you require no guidance at the moment. 

REMEMBER TO NOTE: Signs and the Syncs that deliver them very rarely come to confirm or deny anything, rather they will give guidance. That said, if you ask for a Sign or message, they will give you one which means, "We heard you, we have heard your request." They will then follow with the guidance that you require. For example, if you ask for a "sign" to confirm that you're on the right path or that your Twin Flame is in fact the person you believe it to be, they will deliver to you a message confirming that they've heard you. They will then typically give you the guidance you need in order to achieve your correct path. I've seen a few people who asked the Universe for a "sign of confirmation" that someone was their Twin Flame or intended soulmate and the Universe that God created responded with their "we hear you" in the form of a series of 11's as guidance. Had they followed their guidance, they would have been on their path sooner, however they took these 11's as a confirmation and stayed on a different path a bit longer. While the path did not hurt them and they gained valuable insight from said path, they would have achieved their correct path sooner had they followed their guidance. (I am not saying that God does not confirm Twin Flame connections with showing certain people a series of Number 11's, or any signs for that matter.) In fact, I've seen that occur before. What I am saying is that I also know of people who mistook their specific guidance of signs, specifically their 11's. So, how to determine your proper messages? Use Your Gift Of Discernment. Your 11's mean something specific to YOU so look closely within. 

Light v/s Darkness Guidance & Sync Messages:

While I don't coach on the subject of religion during session, I feel it's important to touch on the subject of Light v/s Darkness in regard to the messages that people receive. I embrace and accept all spiritual and religious beliefs and you may refer to the deity as whatever you feel comfortable with, and I believe that we are all under our Creator so for this article we are referring to the Higher Power, The Creator as simply, "God." Whether you believe it or not, there is a higher power (God if you will, or whatever you happen to refer to The Creator by name as, as the higher power that exists) and God is always guiding you through this Universe that God created. If you listen, God is of course, in your heart. Once you enter Ascension the messages of the Universe that God created become more clear. Now, it's also important to remember that with light, there's also darkness. Without darkness, the light couldn't exist and without the light, darkness couldn't exist. This is science and physics, I know... There are going to be some "misguidance" if you will, out there that comes from darkness. That is, guidance that isn't actually the light. Use your gift of discernment here. You want to make it a point to focus on your correct positive guidance and never take the negative, dark path. (I'm not trying to get overly religious on you here; it's just that there's plenty of negative out there, especially these days and we want to focus on the light, never the darkness.) You can accidentally invite darkness without realizing. Their objective is to keep souls in a state of confusion. Confusion results in leading your focus away from engaging in your missions, life purposes, living your best life, and even being fully happy. Sometimes, as scary as this may sound, the wrong path may actually seem really right when it's actually the darkness. Again, use your gift of discernment. Keep that light of God in your heart and you will always be safe and protected. Sometimes, when a soul feels a tremendous void where they feel their "other half" should be, when they fill that void with their faith then that void becomes filled and their guidance becomes more clear and with that clarity, that correct romantic soul connection comes surprisingly easily to them. 

Getting Lost / Becoming Stagnated On Your Path:

These soul connections that come as a result of Ascension can feel so overwhelming that one can easily become stagnated. It's common for one to begin to feel as though they're becoming lost in that intensity. It's important to remember that all soul connections are important and play a role in our process of Ascension and soul evolution. That old saying that goes, "No pain - no gain," comes to mind here. But, is pain truly necessary for our Ascension and soul evolution? The answer here is, "sometimes." However, there are methods that one may use in order to break free of old connections and receive their evolution in other, possibly less painful ways.


We are all soulmates for one another in this lifetime. People often like to pigeonhole their soul connections into soulmate types. Karmic, Companion, Romantic, Evolutionary, Teaching, Healing Soulmates are the first handful of labels that come to mind. In reality, all soul connections actually bring a number of qualities and traits to the connection. However there will be, in many cases, one or two specific that stand out over others. 

We Will Use The karmic Soulmate As Our Example Today:

If you've encountered a soulmate who happens to seem really karmic in nature, you may find yourself pondering the "whys" of the situation. "What on earth did I do to this person to deserve their poor treatment?" Chances are, the answer is probably nothing at all. Lady Karma is a righteous woman and she will always visit in unexpected ways. And often, she will visit you in a manner or method that is completely unrelated to the situation. For example, if you harm someone however unintentionally, you might end up on the receiving end of Lady Karma. Sometimes she will visit you in an identical way that you harmed the other (or they harmed you) and sometimes it will be completely opposite. I've seen people who wronged someone romantically and their karma resulted much later down the road an in a completely unrelated area such as education, finance, home, etc. Karma is the evening out balance of Yin and Yang, light and dark, right and wrong. However, who may seem like a karmic partner might actually be a very valuable teaching healing soul connection. The "karmic" nature may teach you something important which results in a door opening for your healing process; a process which you may not have even realized that you required, which in turn lead you through an aspect of your soul evolution and Ascension and you, in the end result, make a soul connection with your intended soulmate. But remember, as Karmic as that connection may seem, there are OTHER ASPECTS to that connection. They taught you something. That lesson or lessons may have opened a door to healing. So, they are also teaching and healing in nature, too. Do not devalue those connections you feel might be negative, as they taught you something. You do not need to stay in negative Karmic connections, however take that knowledge and evolution that the connection gave to you and give gratitude.

If you feel you're stagnated or desire to break free of a connection that isn't serving the highest good or your highest good, look within. Consider the knowledge you have received and break free of any negative connections. You may find that you desire to remedy the connection such as if you're married or partnered and desire to continue with that connection. You must do what is right for YOU and for them. (There are also positive Karmic relationships as well, don't forget.) In the positive Karmic connection, it will feel and seem exactly as it describes: as though you are on the end of receiving positive karma.

Breaking Damaging Cycles:

You may break any cycles you set your mind to! because some people request techniques, here are some suggestions.

There are many ways to break the cycles of intense connections with soulmates if you're feeling bogged down. Techniques include manifestation techniques, meditation processes, chakra cord severing, energy manipulation, connections with other soulmates in order to give your chakra cords someone more positive to connect to, and the list goes on. The majority of the methods can and should be easily done one's self, for the one who desires the result must complete the action in order to achieve said result. I have heard people say things like, "I went to an energy clearing person and it worked for a few days but now I feel worse than ever so I feel that I wasted my time and money." Well for one thing, you should have done this process, whatever it was, yourself. Secondly, these are free to do, especially when one does it themselves. Here is my personal advice on breaking cycles.

- First, identify your cycle, whatever it (or whom) that cycle may be. I suggest taking a few days to truly identify if it is a person or if it is a trait or a situation within you, or if it's a combination thereof. 

- Next, you must make the firm decision that you wish to break your cycle. There can be no room for any doubt here. You must make that decision; body, mind, soul, spirit and energetically. Once you have made this firm decision, you will begin to feel a small sense of relief.

- Next, you will want to make a physical act of manifestation using all keys: physical, verbal, spiritual, at the soul level and within your energy. One technique I like for this very much is the process of writing down your objective using the physical act of writing while verbally stating your intention as you write. Making this paper your own, perhaps vividly coloring the outline and writing exactly your intention in the center and detailing the whys and whens. Everything that pours out of you - it can be a small little doodle or a long letter-style or essay, make it your catharsis. You might cry, scream, laugh. Let all emotion out. Release, completely and totally. This may take time and even weeks for you to complete. Take all the time you need.

- Now that you've had a true cathartic experience and put everything that was held within you onto the paper, hold that manifestation in your hand and consider your intention. You want to rid yourself of that connection, of feeling as though their energy ir it's energy is constantly around you and causing you undue pain. Focus on this and allow the happiness and excitement that you will soon be free. Hold it and carry it with you for a while, letting the physical paper collect your personal energy. The energy you will verbally state that you are giving it is the energy of the negative cycle you so desire to break. How long you carry it will be completely up to you. Remember, this is a process and not an overnight thing.

- Next, what you will feel is a bit lighter. A lot of your energy that was from that negative cycle will be gone from you and reside in that which is in your hands. What you do with your paper now is up to you. Many meditate with it, focusing on severing the connection with a certain person or situation and focusing on putting it into that paper. Some people get a small box in which to keep their paper and use it as a "safe" for their negative energies to put them in after a cleansing meditation process they do themselves, then they banish said negativity. Since their intention was put to the paper during the catharsis, some like to do a release by fire. Some like to destroy it. Whatever you decide, if your chakra cords are no longer connected to a person for example, you will want to prevent them from attaching again. The easiest way to keep them from attaching again to the person to whom you're so easily energetically drawn in said negative cycle is to simply attach to another soul. There are plenty of ways to attach one's chakra cords to another - friends, family members, other (positive) soulmates, and so on. Chakra cords are similar to extension cords in the sense that one can plug into and pull out of - often very quickly - the cords of others. Since chakra are the energy centers in our bodies and the cords stem from them, it is simple to do this so we want to make sure not to reconnect to someone who is negative. Chakra themselves do not get "dirty" and "chakra clearings/cleanings" are just simply meditations focusing on each chakra center, you can do this yourself. You need not hire "professionals" for such things as energy is energy and energy does not "get dirty." If negative energy shows up, one can easily remove said negative energy. (I know there are lots of great energy workers out there, and while I could probably sell lots of "chakra cleansings" to my clients, I feel that would be dishonest since again, energy does not get dirty and you can align your cords / remove negativity yourself very easily. I'd rather teach you through this article once then you are fed for life like the old story of the man who taught the man to fish so he'd eat everyday. Feed a man a fish, he eats but teach a man to fish and he eats for life.)

- The Violet Flame resides within all of us. This goes back to Usui Reiki. Whether or not you are attuned, you can easily access your own Violet Flame. This "fire within" exists to heal energetically. Yes, you can access your energy to begin mending and healing your own energetic wounds yourself. Now that you have broken cycles, you can begin your healing process. How you embark on your healing process will be up to you. 

Now that you understand why your attachment exists and have identified any negative cycles you can begin your healing process and move forward, knowing and giving gratitude for what you have learned during your Ascension process from the attachment - whether a person or situation.

Blessings xo



I think i didnt get to this page coincidentally, it what I have been longing for. This Unhealthy connection had to end.
So grateful to stumble on your blog
Be endlessly blessed


Thank you


This has been very helpful to me, and I’m excited to find this page🌸 There are so many out there who I try to get insight from, that seem very much to NOT be about God. I have a personal relationship with God and Jesus, and I don’t wish to receive information from anyone who believes there isn’t one. So many things you said reassured me and resonated strongly!
Thanks so much🦋

Leave a comment

Please note, comments must be approved before they are published