What A twin Flame Is - Schools Of Thought

I've had a lot of questions about what a Twin Flame is and it seems worthy posting what Twin Flames are not as well. These are the schools of thought on the twin flame in general.

What Is The Twin Flame?

For those of you who don't know what a twin flame happens to be, it's simply a type of soul connection existence within one's soul being connected to another soul being as two halves of a single soul being. It's said that twin flames are two halves of one another's souls; one half male and the other half female energy (regardless of gender) and many use this term interchanged with the term "perfect romantic soulmate" as well. Some people like to think twin flames are one male and one female and others like to think they can be paired as any gender combination. Your thoughts and version is up to you to decide, whatever your beliefs are. The general consensus is that twin flames join together as couples to engage in their "mission" (life purpose) otherwise known as their Divine Mission. The objective of the mission is to do the highest good. Doing the highest good will result in raising the Universal Vibration.

Please Note:

It's important to remember that twin flame or not, does not define or determine how happy one will be in a romantic relationship nor does it determine how important a relationship might be. Also, twin flame or not, does not determine how important your existence or life purpose and life mission is. Everyone's life purpose and mission in life and everyone's romantic relationships - twin flame or not - are equally important and have equal opportunity to be wonderful, permanent, important and fruitful. Being a twin flame doesn't automatically mean "better" or "more important" contrary to what some like to think. 

One's Higher & Greatest Good:

There's also another school of thought saying that twin flames are the 144,000 who lead the masses back to truth and origin. (This school of thought breaks down to helping others set aside negativity and instead of wallowing in that limiting negativity, beginning to realize their true purpose of doing their part to do good in their own life purposes here on earth in this life while assisting others in remembering to to the same: learn one's life lessons and take that soul knowledge to use for the greatest good that you can, whatever that may be.) For some, their mission might be creative. For others, their mission might be helping others. It might be teaching. It might be anything you can imagine. It might be a combination. But, whatever one does, it's for the higher greater good and not for darkness or negativity or to harm anyone. Do what is right for you and for others.

Twin Flame Confusion:

Some think twin flames have a cult-like mentality. This couldn't be further from the truth. For a cult, you need a leader. There is no twin flame leader and there never has been. For a cult, you also need a certain set of values and thinking. Twin flames don't require any certain set of "rules." Twin flames also do not require any certain set of requirements as far as thought or experience. For a cult, you also need some kind of guidelines by which to live. Twin flames do not have any specific "guidelines" or "rules" to follow nor do twin flames follow any specific religion. Twin Flames do not reside on communes and they can exist literally anywhere on the planet. These people also think that if you're not a twin flame, then you cannot possible have a decent romantic relationship with another human being. Again, not true. Whether you are a twin flame or not has zero impact on how positive or negative your romantic and interpersonal relationships will be.

Are There Twin Flame Rules?

Absolutely not. There is some twin flame information out there that is incorrect, inaccurate and confusing. I have a friend whose live-in girlfriend decided that she had met her twin flame. (She hadn't.) She left her boyfriend because of this way of thinking. Everyone tried to talk with her but apparently she'd read some nonsense that made her think she absolutely had to leave her relationship for this perceived connection. (This is a perfect example of the way people can read into things that they read online instead of reading them as words.) If you're a twin flame, do you "have to" leave your current relationship or marriage? No, there's no "twin flame law" anywhere dictating anything like that nor does any "twin flame law" exist in the first place. Can you leave a relationship to be with your twin? Sure, and that's completely up to you as an individual and your partner. But there's no "rule" requiring you to do so. While it's said that twin flames always come into union for the purposes of their mission (to do their best highest good together) there's no rules regarding any requirement that "it must be done this way" or "that way." I have seen plenty of people discover that they're twin flames and enjoy their twin flame connections but choose to stay with their current partners. No one said you "must completely shift your own situation in order to be with someone else" for you to engage in doing your highest good, enjoy your life purpose and engage in your divine mission, whatever it may be. Your choices are your choices and no one else should cause you to do anything you are not 100% comfortable with.

Personal Choices:

There's another school of thought that says certain twin flames never come into union in this lifetime. I'm not sure what to make of this idea since the idea behind twin flames is to complete the highest possible good. It's said that twin flames engage in their positive purposes simultaneously. I feel that twin flames can engage in their higher purpose, whatever that may be for them, regardless of what romantic relationship they happen to be in, but that's my opinion. My beliefs though, should not impact your own, as it is your decision to do your highest good and live your own life well. No one, including me or anyone else can or should twist your arm to do anything other than what you want to do, what you feel is the best for you and for those around you including your soul family (family, friends, loved ones, etc.)

The Aspects Of The Journey:

There is another school of thought that believes that twin flames have to go through a painful journey to reach twin flame union. This couldn't be more incorrect. While yes, there was a "twin flame template" and "journey to union" long before I began working with twin flames, these are not absolutes or requirements. I've seen couples come together with ease and I have seen couples face difficulty while coming together. It's my opinion that couples encounter various aspects of a certain path for different reasons including learning, healing, teaching each other and growth. Twin flames are not required to experience a difficult or painful journey to union at all. There are no absolutes. Just because you had a simple journey doesn't mean you're not a twin flame and just because you're stagnated in a runner and chaser dynamic does not mean that you're a twin flame.

What Is Destined?

There's another school of thought that twin flames are rare and yet another that says it's common; that everyone is a twin flame, and that everyone has another half so to speak. Both are true in a sense. First, true twin flames are quite rare by definition however there is a "lid for every pot and sometimes two" so to speak, as my grandmother used to say. In other words, every soul being on this planet has a mate and sometimes more than one. If you believe in a higher power (God, the creator) then you know that He is always walking beside you. You are never alone. God intended humans to have mates, partners in life. While you are not required to choose a mate for yourself and may certainly opt to live life on your own, most people do appreciate having a mate at some point in their lives. While some believe that twin flames are "destined," there are also other types of intended romantic connections and relationships too. Whether you're a twin flame or not does not determine whether or not you're going to have a happy and or permanent relationship. I have seen countless non-twin flames come together in wonderful relationships permanently and being a twin flame or not defines absolutely nothing in regard to your happiness or pleasure you will derive out of your life. 

Why You Should Fall Out Of Love With Labels: 

While labels are important to define things and to understand things, especially in relationships and in connections we make with others, they can also be harmful or cause more confusion than not. We use labels to define things. We need them to a certain level. If I invited you to sit on my sofa but pointed to my dustbin you'd think I'd lost my marbles. Why? Because, everyone knows that no one sits on a dustbin. You'd fall in and get all dirty. On the flip side, if I threw out my garbage and landed it on the sofa versus the dustbin that would make no sense either. That said, we require labels for certain reasons including communication, in understanding how to respond and how to handle certain situations. However, some labels can be misconstrued when not fully understood.

Twin Flame, for example, is a label that can cause annoyance if used incorrectly. When I began working with people in love and relationships and specializing in soul connections, twin flames as a concept was still pretty rare and unheard of although it had been around for a very long time. The concept of twin flame actually gained popularity from the YouTub'ers who were selling psychic readings and coaching under the guise of videos and vlogs, and were trying to sell to a certain niche market demographic of women who were dealing with unrequited love. In the twin flame journey there is a runner and chaser dynamic. These women were chasing and seeing syncs and messages everywhere because they were obsessed with the person with whom their love was unrequited which resonated well with the "twin flame template" and the "twin flame journey," at the time said vlogs became popular.

But here's the thing... as I have said before, if you look closely at the twin flame journey symptoms, they can resonate with literally anyone. This only helped the sellers' cause. If the seller says things that resonate with the masses, then by default they will sell a lot. They were very misleading, at least in my personal opinion. And, if you actually go on these types of channels and look back at their videos you will see that every full moon and every equinox or every super moon or every single what-have-you, these folks have posted something along the lines of, "There's a huge shift coming up with the moon for Twin Flames and many will be achieving union this year because..." Blah, blah, blah... whatever! (I'm sorry but that stuff is not only misleading, but it's downright wrong. I know I'd sell lots of sessions if I did that but I wouldn't be able to live with myself. It's just so wrong.) But I digress...

Anyway, the concept of twin flame gained popularity and everyone decided that they must be in a twin flame relationship as "twin flame" was the love idea du jour. These sellers told the people that they were twin flames but now, these folks are not in the relationships they wanted to be in so now these sellers are flipping their tickets (kind of like the famous angel number creator Doreen Virtue did.) Now, these unscrupulous sellers, they're claiming that not all twin flames will get together to come into their twin flame union in this lifetime so tough noogies.

REALLY? SERIOUSLY?? You guys sold all these people twin flame books, CD's and downloads and meditations and they did all this "inner work" and watched your videos religiously and nothing but tough noogies? I don't think so...that is just plain wrong and horrible. I apologize in advance because you might be picking up some pretty angry energy from me at this moment and you're right. The sellers should have told their clients the truth from the beginning and assisted them in achieving the love they deserve instead of selling them an idea to fall in love with. This is why many of my clients are surprised when I don't just tell them whatever they want to hear; rather, I tell them what I do see for them, that I don't see them as "twin flames," rather direct them toward manifesting the correct relationship for them which will result in the permanence and happiness they desire and deserve. Lying to sell sessions is just wrong. Some clients become upset with me because I tell them the truth about what I see, but I can't bring myself to do any differently than to be forthcoming. I have lost clients because I've been forthcoming and then they contact me months or years down the road and say, "You were the only one who told me what I've come to realize was the truth." I'd rather lose clients than mislead. But that's me. I'm frightened of Lady karma who is a righteous woman, but I again digress...

The truth is (at least in my opinion) is that those people I mentioned before who were mislead by vloggers and ads and "twin flame gurus" weren't dealing with their twins in the first place (which the sellers should have told them upfront and should have simply guided them toward the right relationships for them.) That's assuming said seller can tell the difference between twin flame and other types of soul connections in the first place. But, I also assume said sellers are probably scared to lose sales if they tell the person something they don't want to hear. 

While Twin Flames & Soulmates Exist, Labels Can Cause Confusion:

If I were to tell a perfectly happy person in a perfectly happy relationship who is engaged to be married that they're not twin flames, but are actually another type of soulmate connection which is intended to marry and to be in a happy, fruitful, fulfilling romantic relationship full of joy and love, this might sound pretty great to you to hear but to the person to which I am referring, they might not enjoy hearing this. Why? Because, they might be "in love with the idea of twin flames." They might not want to marry their lover because of a label. it's my hope that you will never allow labels to define your happiness nor define your potential on any level.

Don't be "in love" with an idea. Whether you are a twin flame or not doesn't determine your level of happiness. If you want to refer to your intended romantic soul connection or husband or wife or whatever as "twin flame," by all means please feel free to do so. It harms no one. But please don't get yourself caught up in a relationship with the wrong person just because you think they're your twin flame. The RIGHT RELATIONSHIP (twin flame or not) will never be toxic, deranged, harmful or make your life existence miserable. Never sit waiting on the same, either. Actually, never wait at all. (I've talked extensively about how not waiting and reversing the chasing / waiting can reverse situations of stagnation in any relationship type.) Waiting for misery is like telling the Universe, "I enjoy waiting and setting my heart aside for ___ person, so I want you to send me more of the same." When you sit on the sidelines, you will get more of waiting on the sidelines. If you give chase, you will receive only more opportunity to give chase.

In Closing...

Whether you are a twin flame or not, please always remember to live your own life well. Please remember that being a twin flame or not does not determine happiness, romantic happiness, romantic permanence or power. What determines these things is YOU. If you are told that you're a twin flame, or that you are not a twin flame, is this going to cause you to love your partner or love yourself any more unconditionally than you already do? Or any less? Labels are simply that: labels to define something in order to understand it better. Do not define your happiness based on labels. I've said so many times but some labels are unhealthy for certain people. REMEMBER TO HEAR WHAT IS SAID AND NOT HEAR WHAT YOU READ INTO IT. Twin Flame, Soulmate, Bashert, whatever type of connection you enjoy, do not allow labels to define your happiness.

Blessings xo



Wonderful article, thank you. I think you hit the nail on the head regarding twin flame readers – “selling to the niche market of female unrequited love.” So sad. We must practise discernment in all matters, and be alert to being sold to in our vulnerability. I was open minded to the idea of twin flames, but I never researched it obsessively. Now that I have met mine, he is my teacher, and the relationship is my teacher. Its interesting to see what people write of course – but I always use my own discernment and intuition.


Great article in many different aspects.
Our human behaviour is very often as per the lyrics “A man sees what he wants to see and disregards the rest”(Simon & Garfunkel) … Disregarding ‘the actual reality’

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