Your Top Questions About Soulmates & Twin Flames - Free Answers

Here's a few questions I most often receive. Please take what resonates with you and enjoy it. As with anything, please use your own discernment. My writing - like everything on this website - is strictly *personal opinion* and shouldn't be taken as spiritual, religious, medical, mental health or legal advice. 

Due to recent discoveries about the concept of Soulmates & Twin Flames, I am no longer referring to my relationship as "twin flame." You're welcome to refer to your own relationship in any way you like.

If you want to see YOUR questions about Soulmates & Twin Flames answered here please feel free to send in your questions by email.

Should I not talk to other people about my twin flame?

I too have heard of this claim however, and I get there's a lot that can happen in a journey, it's my position that it's perfectly okay to share your life with others. Communication between friends, family, co-workers, people close to us care about and only want the best for us.

I've heard of self-serving spiritual services "helpfully advising" not to discuss one's twin flame journey with anyone else -except them. But why wouldn't you? More importantly this begs the question: Why shouldn't you? 

Are they an exploitative, narcissistically attempting to keep you from being influenced by anyone but them because only they are equipped to understand what you might be going through? 

I understand it's a difficult topic to broach but I've found according to a 2017 poll, two-thirds of Americans believe in soulmates. Thanks to "advertorials" (in which services pay for mentions in blogs, news articles, etc., to boost media presence = sales) and thanks to popularization in general mainstream media, top magazines like Allure are even picking up on twin flames. So why wouldn't you mention it? 

Is it a bad thing to get insights about my twin flame relationship from someone who isn't with their twin?

I too have heard the same and have thought about it... I have to admit that to me, this is an extremely self-serving, narrow scope.

I get there's a lot about the twin flame journey but let's consider the doctors who deliver babies everyday but have never been pregnant themselves. Does this make them any less empathetic, or able to help their patients? My wonderful OBGYN doesn't ever expect he'll fall pregnant. Just saying.

Should I use a twin flame service or program to help me get with my twin?

Let's think about it. You were born with feet, but no manual to learn to use them. You started by wiggling your toes. Then you crawled. Then you toddled, then walked, then ran and skipped. If all this stuff including ascension is so natural and organic, why would we need to hire anyone to show us or help us to do what comes naturally?

That said, I don't feel like I'd want someone else's opinion or mindset or "teachings" interfering with my path. Besides, twin flame info, it's all out there for free. And, why would I pay someone for what happens for free?

Do twin flames have a special connection with God?

There's different ideas out there, I'll share mine with you. I don't believe twin flames or anyone for that matter has a "special connection with God," or are any closer with God than anyone else. My views on God are personal as I feel they should be for everyone.

My views on soulmates and twin flames are independent of my views on religion and spirituality. In my mind, twin flame refers to the person we choose as our life partner.

Are twin flames the 144,000 from the Bible? 

A theory is a supposition or a system of ideas intended to explain something, and there are countless theories about soulmates and twin flames. Personally, I don't believe in this theory, nor do I have any idea where it originated. 

Some say soulmates and twin flames are somehow related to spirituality, religion or the 144,000 and while I too was told this, based on my personal research and understanding it's really hard to say this is "fact."

There's many different ideas about soulmates and twin flames; numbers, light workers, healers, ascended masters, extraterrestrial beings, etc. 

Do twin flames always end up together?

This depends on your version of 'twin flame' because there's many schools of thought. 

Some believe it's a meant to be relationship while others counter that opinion. There's also various ideas about why a soulmate or twin flame enters our life.

I'll share my opinion. I feel we meet different people for many different reasons throughout our lives, and that we all have our proverbial other half (have you ever heard a couple say "they're my better half," for example?) Another term is the Yiddish word "bashert," the one we choose as our life partner. Whether that choice is destiny or of free will, that's up to your personal beliefs.

Do we always have a "false twin?"

This depends upon your belief system and what type of soul connection, if any, you're referring to in said belief system. The false twin is said to be someone we mistake for "the one." The person we thought we were going to have as our life partner but wasn't. 

I'll share my opinion. My "false twin" situation matched up with everything said about false twins and boy, was he ever catalytic. That was fun... Many have multiple relationships before finally meeting "the one," their life partner, others do not. I feel like relationships help us learn and grow. 

How can I know if someone is my soulmate or twin flame?

In my opinion it's helpful to listen to your heart along with (your gut) and your logic.

When we hear things like, connect to 'Source / Higher Self / Source at Creation'  or 'Sense of Knowing' for your own clarity. In my mind that's another way of saying, "everyone has their own logical mind, thinking process, heart, gut instincts and intuition so use your own personal discernment." Listen to yourself. Some also liken it to trusting their higher power. 

Do twin flames reincarnate?

This is another that depends on your own ideas and beliefs, as there are many schools of thought. Some don't subscribe to reincarnation, some believe they've experienced none, one, several or many previous lifetimes -including some with their soulmate or twin flame. Ideas are born and change everyday. (Pun totally intended!) In my mind, soulmates and twin flame don't require a belief in reincarnation, and beliefs are personal and should be your own.

How does astrology play a role in twin flames and soulmates?

A professional astrologer would probably be better equipped to answer this, as I've been told a number of things. Some astrologers say twin flame astrology is similar to seeing how people are soulmates. Others say twin flames can have literally any astrology.

My perspective is: if you're happy and have a wonderful relationship, does it matter what your astrology says? Of course this is only my opinion but I feel we should all be able to love who we love. 

Do I need a service or program to find love or make our relationship work?

I feel people who work with twin flames and soulmates can maybe help you navigate a situation or better understand it, but I don't feel there's a need to purchase anything in order to find love, happiness or reach your goals. Philosopher Manis Friedman says, "If it's bashert (destiny to be) it means it's intended and won't change." I feel if a relationship is meant to be, it will be. So why buy anything? I'd use my money for more productive things.

Do I have to go through all the steps of the twin flame journey? 

Again, many schools of thought. In the original "template" there were stages. Some believe in this theory, others don't. I feel like every relationship is unique, stages or not, and if it's meant to be, it will be. So stop worrying and go have some fun.

Do twin flames and soulmates have to complete their journey and find a mission?

Again, many schools of thought with ideas always being born and evolving. I've seen opinions ranging from having a specific life purpose to two separate life purposes combining into one, to the "butterfly effect" of just being a decent person. 

Here's my perspective: I don't feel like any person or their life purpose is any more or less important than another, nor does our ability to live decent, fulfilling, meaningful lives depend upon a relationship. In my mind, anything anyone does each day can be meaningful and purposeful.

Must I be spiritually evolved or ascended to meet or be with my twin flame or soulmate?

While this depends on one's beliefs, I've seen relationships successfully flourish whether people were spiritually inclined or not. It's my take that a spiritual awakening, ascension or spiritual development isn't necessary to enjoy healthy, fulfilling relationships, including twin flame.

There's many opinions on the various types of spiritual awakenings and ascensions. It's my understanding that it refers to the natural process of expanding awareness and enlightenment that happens naturally, and for everyone over time throughout life. In my mind, it doesn't mean that someone is any better, smarter, more powerful or more "well-equipped" than anyone else. 

Most recently I've heard of "twin flame ascension" which is a brand new thing to me. Then again, there's always new stuff coming out.

Can someone confirm my connection with my soulmate or twin flame?

I'll leave it at this... Do you always allow others to make your decisions for you?


Is there anything I can do to help myself, what if I feel confused?

While this is only my opinion, it's my take that if you make your own decisions and use good common sense and discernment, you'll be fine. 

Does ascension, energy healing or prayer cure anxiety or diseases?

I'm not allowed to offer medical advice and speaking of discernment, please use yours here. My personal beliefs are that prayer is certainly positive, and I too have heard many wonderful stories of prayers being answered. However, I'm of the opinion that prayer should never be considered a "treatment or cure" of any sort, ever. I feel ascension, spiritual awareness and things like Reiki are great and I enjoy Reiki myself, but these shouldn't be considered as, let alone used in place of, proper medical or mental health care -ever. I really can't stress this enough.


What's the purpose behind my twin flame connection, why did they enter my life?

It's my take the purpose depends on your beliefs. While some believe it's all about personal reflection, others believe it's all about inner work or a divine romantic union -and every conceivable theory in between. 

Personally, I believe we have many connections in life and those who set us on a path of inner reflection and balance perfectly describes a catalytic (turning point) soulmate who triggers a transition toward inner growth and healing. Further, I don't believe twins enter our lives to make us miserable, and I don't believe we have to embark on a miserable path of work or else we can't be with our twin flame. I feel twins are a complimentary reflection of us; our life partner, our mate, other half.

You're probably tired of hearing me say, twin flames are like 2 pieces of a puzzle that only has 2 pieces to begin with, and that the connection is meaningful from the moment of meeting to union, as well as throughout the journey.

Where did Twin Flames come from?

Twin flame in my mind references something for which there are many words. I believe our twin flame is the person we choose as our life partner.

The idea of a soulmate is very old, I've seen people reference things like Shiva and Shakti which were said to be divine counterparts. Poet, Samuel Taylor Coleridge first used the term soulmate in a letter, although Plato and others throughout time have made like references.  

When older philosophies and theology explaining soul origin and that we have many connections became widely accepted, the term to describe our partner shifted from soulmate to Soul Twin and then later Twin Soul and thereafter Twin Flame. .

In modern use Elizabeth Clare Prophet spoke of twin flames. Manis Friedman references our "bashert" (destiny mate) and a related word is zivug meaning "pair" or "matched two" as Kabbalah and Chabad references the idea that we are "many sparks of the same soul," and that our bashert is our "destiny mate." There are many who reference, philosophize and teach about soul connections and twin flames today.

Where did YOU first learn about the subject, Helena?

I first heard of twin flames during my journey when there was plenty of information available, but precious little as compared to today. Obviously plenty existed, otherwise I'd have never learned it, let alone heard of it.

There have always been many schools of thought on the subject which are always being born and changing. My understanding has changed over time and continues to evolve based on what I experience, learn and discover. 

There's so much information out there, what's right / wrong? 

You're absolutely right. There's much information and many schools of thought. It's my take there's no "right or wrong" because everyone is unique and what may resonate with one might not be another person's truth. I believe each person is their own "seeker" and should use discernment for themselves. 

Does everyone have a soulmate or twin flame?

This depends on your beliefs. I can share my opinion on this. I believe every person has the right to and deserves happiness. 

What's the purpose of reincarnation?

This depends on your beliefs as there's many schools of thought. Personally, I don't believe a belief in reincarnation is required for, or even related to twin flames. 

I'll share a few of the more widely accepted ideas about reincarnation. My advice: research for yourself and use discernment.

Manis Friedman says the purpose of reincarnation is to repair something that was done in a previous life, or to complete whatever you were meant to. 

Some Buddhists believe enlightened souls can choose to be reborn to assist others in becoming enlightened, and when Nirvana is achieved, the cycle of samsara, all suffering and further existence for that individual itself ends.

In some Indian religions reincarnation is an opportunity to seek spiritual liberation through ethical living and a variety of meditative, yogic (marga) or other spiritual practices.

Is twin flame a cult?

I don't believe the concept of having a destiny mate is considered a cult, and there's no "twin flame club." 

The definition of a cult reads: "a system of religious veneration and devotion directed toward a particular figure or object, a misplaced or excessive admiration for a particular person or thing, or a relatively small group of people having religious beliefs or practices regarded by others as strange or sinister."

Twin flames don't admire nor worship a particular person or thing, twin flame isn't a religion, nor are there any practices or rituals. 

Does the right romantic relationship cure mental illness or anxiety?

While I believe good relationships with others in general can certainly enhance our lives, there's no evidence the right relationship of any kind cures mental illness, stress or anxiety. 

There are varying schools of thought relating to how "twin flames embark on an internal path of healing." This may be true for some, but healing what, exactly? Past emotional traumas? I don't believe that a great relationship - twin flame or not - will treat, cure, or in any way make us immune to anything mental health or medical related. I believe that mental health and our health in general are best addressed by a licensed provider. 

I hope you've enjoyed this! Blessings xo

PS: Don't forget to send in YOUR questions about Twin Flames & Soulmates through the link above! XOXO



@Deborah Hi, Deb. I see you’ve enjoyed all my other blog posts as well! Then again, I kinda knew that… I’m confused as to what you’re referring to by “catalyst of the union?”
Dude, what, I just think ascension and balance happens naturally and organically for everyone for free, other people think they should bottle and sell it. And I’m not sure that one’s lack of “twinflamedom” makes anyone less empathetic; I know plenty of people who have never even heard of twin flame who are super sensitive, although I agree there’s a ton that happens during one’s journey. Just a difference of opinion is all. I’m glad to hear that you’re one with your twin in the 5-D. That’s sweet.
If you actually wanna talk I’m open. -H


Dear Helena …
I really like your sensible and totally comprehensive style in sharing info on our connections, as we are all seekers perhaps.

The thing is, we can have many ‘soulmates’, though there is only one true Twin Flame, and as you said, some are ‘whole souls’ and do not have a literal Twin Flame, but may have a destined connection with a soulmate.

Ok, so I am speaking from a long lifetime of experience … I have always been subliminally aware of the TF, and have just connected with my ‘Divine Masculine’ last year. He took me over the moon like no other, and then … disappeared. It has been months now that he has cut all contact…..

So, has our bewildering separation made me suffer? Oh yeah baby, as incredible as our 3D union was, so equally the pain (with physical effects too!) in separation…. it is soul energetics, and beyond, one could say, any soulmate or romantic connection.
And the only people that really ‘get it’ are other true Twin Flames, as the energetics and the frequency of the soul connection is like no other. When the TF is met, you just undeniably know .

As for the reasons for the separation, they can be many and varied as we are individually unique in our karmic paths, though my own understanding is that the ‘mirroring’ is so intense that fears emerge, or unresolved issues that we must deal with on alot of levels…..

I’ve done some leveling up in my own soul journey since the ‘catalyst’ of the union and separation, and have run the whole gamut of emotional extremes… oh man have I, (insert eyeroll here) lol!
Only recently have I realized that I have reached another level, and that I’ve found the balancing point, the ‘grounding’ (pun intended ;) of Ascension.

And that is what I perceive to be our soul purpose in this TF journey…..
Do I still miss my DM and long for physical union? Yes, though not in the same way now …. we are One, and whole in the 5D…..

Thank you for your wise words Helena, and for letting me share my real life experience also ….

~ Deborah

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