Question Submitted: Why do I feel the need to distance myself from my Twin Flame who is running?

This is a question that was submitted and I feel that it may help others, so I'm posting this here. The original way the question was posted was, "I feel the need to distance myself from my Twin Flame but usually he's the runner. What does this mean, and is it healthy?" 

Thank you for requesting my answer to this. I specialize in Soul Connections including those of Soulmates and Twin Flames and have been in Union with my own Twin Flame for a long time so I’ll try to explain a bit about the way you’re feeling. Your question here is actually a very good one and I am glad that you posted it, as it is a perfect textbook example of the energy shift between Twin Flames in the Runner / Chaser phase of the Twin Flame Journey To Union. That said, reading your question will also assist others who are either experiencing this themselves at the present time, or those who will be anticipating this upcoming energy shift and will better know how to understand it and handle it when it happens for them.

First, I am answering this question based on the following: that this is a true Twin Flame connection and not another type of soul connection such as Counterfeit Twin Flame or an Awakening Catalyst Soulmate or other type, etc., and that this relationship is a healthy, safe and non-toxic one and that this question has been authored by someone who is smack dab in the middle of their Twin Flame Journey To Union (which appears to have completed the majority of the Twin Flame Journey To Union Stages) and said Runner / Chaser stage is likely running concurrently with, or very close to the Separation stage of the Journey To Union which is oftentimes the case.

The Twin Flame Shared Soul Experience

First, as you likely already know, Twin Flames are two halves of the same soul energy which means the soul energy is a shared experience. This is why you likely sense, feel or have even experienced things including emotions, thoughts, physical sensations, synchronicity, guidance, and so on, on your Twin’s behalf.

Example: For example, perhaps you’re watching a television show minding your own business and a synchronicity jumps out at you that grabs your attention. Let’s say for conversational sake that it’s a 11:11 on the television screen at the same time the show’s character’s name happens to be that of your Twin Flame, or something along those lines. These are syncs and these are intended to get your attention and they do work and do so… and as a direct result, your attention goes to what it is that got your attention. Then, you look a bit deeper and ask yourself, “why?” You then notice the character’s name and what that character is doing within said television program, and so you go ahead and you interpret your message of guidance.

Why is this happening to you? It’s happening because it’s Universal Guidance. This Universal Guidance can actually be quite helpful as a matter of fact, and it can also feel a bit annoying due to the intensity, and sometimes one can feel as though they’re inundated with syncs and guidance. Each experience will be unique to each individual during their journey.

The Guidance: This guidance isn’t directly from your Twin Flame; they’re not sitting at home in a trance sending you energy (well, maybe they are, but in most cases this guidance occurs more organically.) This is guidance. If it weren’t a Twin Flame situation, Universal Guidance can and does still occur for people, especially noticed during their Ascension process, however certain varieties of Soulmates can also experience an intense energy exchange and that exchange can assist in creating that bond (usually either energetically or via the Chakra connection through the Chakra Cords) and that energy exchange results in communication.

That communication is intended, most of the time, for the purposes of guidance. However, much like many Soulmates do, one can and often will pick up on and experience energy as a result of their Twin Flame experience by simple happenstance.

The Runner / Chaser Stage Just Prior To Union

As you already know, there are many stages of the Twin Flame Journey To Union. I won’t list them here, as you probably already have seen them written many other places, and have done plenty of reading and research of the subject of these unique soul connections since Twin Flames (and those experiencing their Ascension process) tend to be extremely intelligent and analytical. But I digress…

During the Runner / Chaser stages, one twin runs and the other chases by default, for they can’t help themselves. Remember that shared energy we just talked about? Well, think about it this way: remember that game of telephone as a kid where you tied two paper cups together with a string in the middle? You could talk into one end and hear out of the other. If you plucked that string in the middle, it vibrated and both could feel it. In this scenario, these paper cups represent your PHYSICAL BODIES WHICH HOUSE YOUR HALF OF THE SHARED SOUL ENERGY. The string represents your Chakra Cords. The Chakra are the energy centers in our physical bodies and the Chakra Cords are the cords of energy which extend from them and can connect with others; i.e., one’s Soulmates. In Twin Flame however, it’s a SHARED EXPERIENCE. That said, when one runs, the connected cord is intact and cannot be severed so the other ends up trailing behind them (chasing.) Hence, the term Twin Flame Runner and the term Twin Flame Chaser during this phase of the journey.

Now The Important Part That People Sometimes Forget: The energy shifts in that Runner / Chaser stage of the journey…

This is why you feel the way you’re feeling. Yes, just as one ran and one chased, eventually an energy shift takes place and the Chaser becomes the Runner and the Runner becomes the…you guessed it: The Chaser. What you’re describing is textbook. You are reversing the energy. Or, I should say, the energy is reversing. You’re becoming the Runner now. You’re doing so in order so that your Twin Flame may take on their respective role as the Chaser.

This happens so that BOTH TWINS can experience all aspects and stages of the Twin Flame Journey To Union including being the Runner as well as being the Chaser.

Normally, this energy shift will occur naturally and organically, however there are different methods that some like to implement in order to assist in creating that shift. I’ve learned a few things in my day and I’ve come to understand that there’s a long path and a short path to Twin Flame Union and I always recommend opting for the shorter path as it saves time, energy and effort. I recommend the shortest possible path because one still receives any necessary valuable soul evolution or learning or experience required for the union regardless of whether they choose the longer route or the shorter route. The “short path” will be different and unique for each individual and couple. Had I chosen the shorter path versus the scenic route in my own journey, I’d have saved a lot of time, stress and energy. I liken it to the final destination. Some things in Destiny, they’re set in stone. Some things are set in stone but seem as though we’re making our own free will choices although we’re not really, because we were intended to make certain choices for certain very specific reasons. And still there are other things that we have complete freedom of choice over and free will and control over. In other words, if Twin Flame Union is your final destination, why not take the shortest path there? But that’s just my personal opinion. My point is, in order to achieve your final destination, you must complete your Twin Flame Journey To Union. So, you might as well take the shortest, easiest path possible to get there. Part of that traveling is the Runner / Chaser stage of the journey. Because BOTH TWINS must experience being the Runner as well as being the Chaser in order to have experienced all of the aspects in the journey, the energy shifts.

The Stages of The Runner / Chaser Dynamic During The Journey

  • The Twin Flame shared energy experience creates the RUNNER (usually as a result of intensity of some variety being perceived as an energetic pressure by the other as a result of any number of reasons, unique to each individual & Twin Flame couple.)
  • The RUNNER Twin begins to RUN → Thus the CHASER Twin is created.
  • The CHASER Twin begins to CHASE by default of the energy exchange.
  • Once the RUNNER Twin has sufficiently RUN and the CHASER Twin has sufficiently CHASED → THE ENERGY SHIFT OCCURS → The RUNNER Twin and the CHASER Twin reverse roles.
  • The now CHASER Twin (formerly the running) will give chase while the former chasing Twin will take on his or her respective role as RUNNER Twin and appear to be running away from what he or she had been previously, often relentlessly, chasing.

Once BOTH TWINS have sufficiently RUN AND CHASED and experienced all aspects of the Running and Chasing during the Twin Flame Journey To Union, the balance of the journey itself can continue.

Thankfully, the Runner / Chaser dynamic of the journey is usually pretty close toward the end of the journey itself, often just prior to the Dark Night of The Soul (if one has not yet experienced it) and is sometimes just pre-Soul Merge or just post-Soul Merge.

What you’re describing is the aspect of the Runner / Chaser stage in which case the Chaser shifts into his or her rightful role as the Runner.

You might also ask about things along the lines of…

But I’ve / we’ve already run and chased, pulled in and out, do I have to do this again? Not necessarily, however it is always possible. Each timeline is unique to each couple. Many experience it like the ebb and flow of the ocean and its tide, pulling in and out to varying degrees of intensity at different times.

But I’ve already experienced a long stage as Chaser, am I going to experience the same amount of time as a Runner? No, you do not have to, necessarily. If you are fully aware of what is happening, once they begin chasing you, instead of running for a long time, simply stand still and allow them to come to you - with open arms and an open heart.

But I’ve already experienced the Dark Night of The Soul, is there another one? No, there is only one Dark Night of The Soul during the journey however it’s common for Twins to experience that stage just before or following this one.

Do I have to keep running? Definitely not. You can run a bit as you’re intended as all Twin Flames will experience being both Runner and Chaser, however you are not required to experience long, drawn out versions of either. If you are already aware of what is happening and are aware of this shift, then there’s no need for a long, undesired series of running and chasing incidents. You should listen to your instincts and follow your guidance as mentioned far above, as this will assist in guiding you in your processes.

Don’t pressure yourself - Enjoy your stages

After all, this can be uplifting and enlightening. It does not need to be worrisome or confusing. There is no need for that. While ALL Twin Flames will experience being the Runner and also being the Chaser, there is no “Twin Flame law or rules” that state that you “must” be either runner or chaser for any certain amount of time, or with any certain intensity. Some experience their running or chasing or both as barely present or a mere series of thoughts, emotions or dreams while others experience one or both running or chasing with extreme and very apparent intensity. It’s important that you remember that your situation will be unique to you, as each journey is unique to each individual and each couple. Don’t pressure yourself or your partner, and don’t feel as though because you read something or saw something or because someone else experienced something, that you must also experience that same thing or experience something in a particular way. You can make your journey as uplifting and enlightening and wonderful as you desire.

I hope that this helps you! Blessings xo


Joanne C Hauck

I’ve known my TF for almost 2 years. There is a 35 year age difference, he being the younger. He recognized me immediately. He made his desire known to me about 6 months ago. I felt the connection long before he made his move but because of the age difference between us, I ignored those feelings. I kept on ignoring those feelings. Now he is a runner. I refuse to chase him in a physical manner. I sent text messages that he would answer but he hasn’t answered the last 3 so I stopped. It’s been over 3 months since I last heard from him but he’s thinking about me a lot. I know he is trying to get over the feelings he has for me. I’m thinking about him as well. I’m doing my best to get over the pain I’m feeling every day. I’m trying to get over him as well. I’m wasting my time. I literally think I’m going crazy. Am I?


I think I’ve met my false twin flame. We’ve been engaging with each other almost daily via social media. Within the first few days of convo I felt this strong connection to him. I swear I felt his energy before we even talked to each. To make matter worse or better lol …he is a Libra. I’m Aquarius. The last man I truly was in love with was a Libra. I can’t help this feeling deep inside me that feels like he was made for me. It is absolutely crazy. Seems like everytime we get deep though he blocks me lol. Literally. Then he comes back around days later. Could it be he feels it too? He said he feels a connection and he felt that the universe was sending something his way. I just need an explanation of these feelings. Also neither one of us is single. Both unhappy in our current relationships. He claims he left her…I don’t believe him though lol. He has way more children involved than I do lol. I can’t help feeling like he might be my soulmate or soul catalyst I just don’t know! Please help lol




Thank you for sharing !
I have recently realized that my husband & I are twin flames. I have very little knowledge about Twin Flames. However- it sparked my curiosity. I read a list on Quora you posted.
I remember the Chase part of our journey.. was not my favorite and I couldn’t understand why that was happening it went on for a couple of years. Lol I’m so grateful that stage is over. I have done my inner work and my husband has followed. He use to be a skeptic of everything except the fact that he knew and still knows we are meant to be together.. it hasn’t always been butterflies and rainbows but we are in sinc with each other and have been for close to 4 years now.. over a 23 year period of time, Finally!
Since , I’ve discovered hidden intuitive abilities.
Which has taken me on a journey to become a “healer”
We are blessed to have found each other.
It’s life changing to be with your Twin Flame.
I couldn’t imagine my life any other way. 💘

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