Question Submitted: What's My Twin Flame Doing While I'm Doing Inner Work? Are They Working Too? How Can I Work On Myself More?

Excellent question! Thanks for asking...

Spiritual awareness and spiritual maturity are two different animals.

Triggers, healing … inner work …. ascension … I understand. I get it. Boy, do I get it.

To answer your question - and this is only my opinion here - you really don’t need “work.” Not like people perceive work to be. And, while your twin may need time on their own to heal or whatever it is, they don’t “need work” either.

Are we focusing on ourselves or fixing a Chevy truck?

Twin Flames are, by definition, already pretty well ascended though they may not feel like it. Twin Flames go through their own spiritual path and of course, what we call The Twin Flame Journey. But you don’t “need” to try worry that your twin isn’t doing their work as you plug along doing your own. As a matter of fact, I’m going to venture to guess there’s nothing “wrong” with you at all.

I’ll explain…

It’s my take that any and all inner work happens naturally and organically. It’s my opinion that people can and will do any and all “inner work” themselves - as will their Twin Flame, all in divine timing. It’s a process one should embark on personally.

First of all, why would you think that you were somehow bad or broken, necessitating work in the first place?

Are you wrong, bad or broken in some way? I’m not talking about healing your past trauma, many do benefit from healing however in most cases, this is best accomplished in a clinical or therapeutic setting.

I’m talking about the “ inner work” people are laboring under the misapprehensions that is somehow necessary to do under the pretense that it will help you reach union with your Twin Flame.

What’s more, there are many who feel if they don’t hurry up and get themselves ascended and do any “inner work,” that they’ll somehow never reach Union.


Focusing on one’s self is just fine. That’s the general consensus too. But where in the world did the Twin Flame Collective decide that inner work is a prerequisite for union?

How many sites there are out there charging for “work on yourself / inner healing so you can get with your twin.”

And, these sites are competitive against one another, too…

They’ll say stuff along the lines of, “You don’t need that over there, that’s a scam, buy this instead! Here’s lots of testimonials, see how great this is? Buy this now! We’ll even help you buy it with a [enter discount, promo or purchase assistance offer here] because we want the best for you!” (If they wanted the best for me, they wouldn’t be hard-selling me, let alone advertising.) They even try to stomp out their competition with histrionics, defamation and drama. That behavior in and of itself speaks volumes. Real Twin Flames, we don’t engage in that sort of thing.

I realize everyone’s selling something and businesses need to survive, and I could be totally wrong in saying this because I am not perfect. But it’s my take that people who are real Twin Flames don’t actually need to purchase anything in order to reach Union. (I’ll probably get even more hate for saying that now…)

But I digress…

The truth is that any “inner healing” will be completed naturally and organically throughout the journey process in it’s own way and in its own Divine Timing whether or not you want it to and weather or not you buy into something.

As a spiritual counselor, I’m constantly telling people that they don’t “need” me as a spiritual counselor to be happy, or to reach Union with their twin. People don’t need anything at all. It’s a process and that process happens naturally.

Though my twin and I are in union, I’ve looked into every “get with your twin” program that flies. Why? Because I’m curious! Because my clients have told me that signed up for this or that before they met me. That made me curious.

What did I find out? Were any of them good? Bad? In between? There's lots to choose from. 

I’ll tell you…

Please keep in mind that this is opinion, and what was disclosed to me by students with whom I spoke regarding their personal processes.

Here's a basic list of the different types of Twin Flame related help available out there in today's world. 

      • Some of the most expensive programs that were pointed out to me cost thousands and are so expensive that they even have payment plans. I remember a network I used to work for had something like that. Many justify the steep price tag with assurances that you get what you pay for. Because only expensive things are good or correct, yes? The old saying, "the best things in life are free" doesn't seem to apply here. If you still don't want to shell out that much dough, the guarantee still sucks you in. Many of these programs use regurgitated information (found for free on the internet) and they rework it, change up the verbiage (or sometimes not) and put it into videos, books, classes, etc., or whatever. With some, what you learn in the end is that, “your twin flame is actually you.” Because it's all about focusing on yourself. Or something else along those lines that'll be easy to say the guarantee was fulfilled, along with techniques to relax. With most like these you'll be assigned a coach and if you finish (does it end?) you can sometimes become a coach too. So, if you’re unhappy when you find this out? Tough nooggies. You’ve signed a non-disclosure agreement with zero recourse. Whoever confabulated this type of a program has an excellent lawyer. There's a lot of programs like this out take your pick. I could easily sell systems like these (I have plenty of content, right?) but I don't - and the reason I don't is because I wouldn't feel right about selling what I write and HUNDREDS of others write for free on the web. Maybe programs like these though, maybe people really like them. Maybe there are certain types of people who really do benefit from ongoing help, but it's my take that something like that is typically more well-accomplished in a more clinical setting.

      • The next most expensive type of inner work stuff teaches you similar calming techniques and is mostly all about relaxation and connecting with your twin in another dimension. There's many like this out there, but the most popular one that comes to mind originated as a Psychic / Tarot Reader online whose Twin Flame, you'll learn in the program, is actually a spirit entity living in 5-D. Programs such as these "channel" for the collective, are into astrology, tarot cards, moon phases, and just about every other aspect of the metaphysical realm that could possibly pique a person's interest. These programs are excellent with marketing and as such, are usually the most popular programs out there. Some even offer free stuff too. I have never read through or watched any of the free stuff so I cannot say whether said free stuff is just basically a big sales pitch or not. However, I know some folks who did receive it and liked it a lot. The channeling and the readings - they're actually excellent from what I hear! I absolutely love watching them on the YouTube! If you're reading this dear Channelers, keep up the good work! 

      • Then there’s folks such as couples who teach Twin Flame techniques together as a team, but it’s a kind of a pyramid because once you “finish” you become one of their coaches. I have absolutely no clue what they teach because unlike the previous two, I have never known anyone who has signed up for their programs. I can’t say whether they’re good or bad. I have only read the Vice story. Some say they’re great while other students claim they were roped into… Their intentions were probably in the right place. I recommend just reading the vice articles and research it yourself and you can form your own opinions.

      • Then there’s a handful of individuals and couples who teach/coach one-on-one who are actually awesome. There’s actually A LOT like this, so it’s hard to say who’s good and who isn’t because the market is flooded. If I list one couple who I think it great, there will be 22 new ones popping up on the web because twins come to union every day of the week. Some I’m friends with, good people. They are so good they make ME want to sign up and I'm already in Union with my Twin! Others are scathing, competitive sociopaths. But as far as the nice folks go, since they’ve been through it, they’re able to describe their situations, give insight and help with navigation. Then there's some who say "Every Twin Flame [coach, writer, psychic reader, shaman or what have you] is a False Prophet! They're ALL FAKES! Come to meeee and let me show you the way!" Because they're so much more knowledgeable than anyone else selling the exact same thing, right? It's hard to say so all I can say is do your research. Stick with the nice folks. You can get a vibe for nice folks. If they sound like "sour grapes" then they probably are -for good reason.

    • Then we have a bunch of twin flame gurus, coaches, healers and readers who are not in Union with their Twin Flames and there are SO MANY to list it’s hard to say much because everyone’s situation is unique and there’s no “blanket” answer for the collective. I’m actually friends with a lot of these folks and they’re decent people. It's my position their intentions are in the right place. I’ve heard anything from “I talked with ___ and they were totally correct,” to “I talked with ___ and I didn’t believe a word they said.” So, some may be very helpful and others -who knows? YMMV (your mileage may vary) because everyone’s different. I can say I know plenty of "not in union yet" twins who are downright awesome. And their work is awesome too. I think some who aren't in Union with their Twin Flames are perfectly okay - after all we have male OBGYNs and they are excellent at delivering babies but they've never been pregnant themselves. So if a non-twin sounds like they'd be a great coach or whatever, why not check them out?

      • Then there’s spiritual counselors and coaches. Some work with their twins and some do not. I don’t work with mine, however he'll chime in sometimes and participate in discussions when asked, and you can hear us on my old Blog Talk Radio. Coaches, counselors and such don't create or sell "packages" or "programs" like the big dogs. Primarily it's an objective to help others navigate their soul connections, spiritual paths and experiences. 

          • Then we have people who are exclusively Twin Flame writers and these books started popping up around 2009. Many published books or are bloggers or authors - or both. I, too, am a Twin Flame writer and published a book under my pen name in 2015 after my Twin had moved me here to Massachusetts from Florida because I was so excited about our Union like a goofy schoolgirl. It's outdated, cheesy, only 30 pages long and has no continuity, and like many other books on Amazon / Barnes & Noble, I created it and published it on the free-to-use Create Space. But because I wasn't very tech savvy I didn't know how to use that Create Space software and the result was a disaster! But, if you want a copy, send me an email and I'll dig up a copy send it along (just don't laugh at me!) Trust me, I am NO bestselling author by any stretch of the means! My book is admittedly horrible. But, I adore writing which is why I do it. But if you want to read Twin Flame authors who actually DO HAVE talent, there truly are wonderful authors out there and the ones I know, they’re truly Twin Flames who have experienced their journey and write about whatever juncture they’re at. Some have even published delicious books that are actually GOOD. I love the first Twin Flame book ever published was authored by Elizabeth Clare Prophet. Some other excellent Twin Flame writers include Silvia, Patrick, and I know I'm forgetting someone... but anyway, everyone else's books are awesome. It's mine that stinks!

              • Then we have people who are Twin Flames who write online for free and just want to help people. I'm not talking about the out-of-date and since abandoned Soulmate and Twin Flame blogs predominantly authored by women who were disappointed with their relationships. I'm referring to actual Twin Flames. I write for free on here and other sites too, I’m friends with many Twin Flames who are amazing writers and amazing human beings. I was going to mention a few of their names but I’d probably forget one - I am far from perfect - and then someone might get their feelings hurt for my not mentioning them. So I’ll just say there are many people who like to help others out there and they do it for free, on their own time, and out of the kindness of their hearts. It’s clear they put a lot into their efforts and even create spaces and groups to help other people without asking for anything in return from The Universe. These folks have hearts of gold and I applaud them for their work.

              If you're a Twin Flame writer reading this right now - we adore you! When I first began writing it was back in 2014/2015 and I was one of the only out there writing about it at the time (save for Elizabeth Clare Prophet's book) and I was alone. Now there's HUNDREDS of writers! I am so proud of everyone too. I know everyone gets busy out there but just TRY to keep up with it because you never know what the Universe will bring you in return! Just remember, Lady Karma is a righteous woman and will absolutely give you exactly what you deserve. So keep up the good work! XOXO

                  Any and all of the above mentioned can reasonably help a person gain perspective and clarity on their journey. And, we give gratitude for the assistance and insights these folks have shared. 

                  But here’s my personal take on “inner work.”

                  It's my take there's probably NOTHING "wrong" with you.

                  Ascension and the Twin Flame Journey happens naturally and organically.

                  I’m not saying “don’t sign up for a package, program or reading or what have you,” from anyone. Hey, if you feel it’ll help you? By all means…

                  It’s just my opinion that there is no blanket-cover-all "fix it today" guaranteed systems that are going to guarantee your process to become any different or better so far as one’s “inner work.” 

                  We can all focus on ourselves, but who said we were broken as people?

                  I am always telling folks that they don't need to purchase anything in order to reach their goals - not even from me.

                  While I can help you navigate your situation, there's no "need" for inner work because Ascension is a unique process for everyone and will happen naturally and organically. It's a different process for each and every person.

                  And, YOU TOO WILL ASCEND but you don't need to pay money to do it.

                  People can give you insight about how to navigate your path, but it’s my OPINION that inner work really depends upon the person and on their situation. And, like I said, it will all occur naturally.

                  Do I need a manual to operate the arm and hand I was born with? 

                  Of course not! Why? Because it's naturally an aspect of my being.

                  No one “needs” to start “working” because everything that’s intended to occur during ascension always does.

                  And because I tell people this, I’ve made some enemies, understandably. Some of the Twin Flame help out there is extremely expensive and people don’t like parting with their money. Especially during this time we’re in. The stuff I write here and on other sites and the stuff other people like me write is free to enjoy and free to put to good use.

                  There’s most likely nothing wrong with you or your twin.

                  So, what happens to THEM when YOU do inner work?

                  They’ll still be connected with you but “keeping tabs” on them - it isn’t healthy. It isn’t of a high vibration and most importantly it isn’t necessary.

                  Why isn’t it necessary?

                  It isn’t necessary because they’re experiencing their own process which is not your process, it’s their process separate from your own but it’s occurring in tandem with you and with your process.

                  So, do you want to know what your Twin Flame is doing whilst you're engaged in your own process - they're fully engaged in their processes - whatever they may happen to be.

                  I TRULY hope this helps! xo

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