My Memories Of "Past Lives" & The "Communication" With The Creator Who I Believe Was G-d.
I was born with some extremely unnerving pre-birth memories which have haunted me my entire lifetime. While I've tried sharing these with my parents since I was a young child, I was basically pooh-poohed and told that of course, I watched way too much television. It wasn't until my mother became a bit more spiritual herself, that she listened when I was older. (Go figure!)
Whether anyone believes me or not is not important to me. I don't need to be believed. What's important to me is that there seems to be a message from The Creator regarding our existence and His word. No, don't worry. I'm not going to give anyone a religious lesson or anything. I am no preacher. I would however really appreciate it if you'd read my story with an open mind.
Here's What I Remember Very Clearly:
I actually remember very clearly, being nothing but a tiny point of consciousness in a place of light, love and security in front of what I can only assume was G-d / The Creator. Master of The Universe? Whatever / whomever it was, was the love that created all that there is, including us. And, the world as we know it including every little thing within it. I'll refer to The Creator here as "He" and "God" and sometimes written as, "G-d." He was a being that was made out of light and was made out of the purest most secure love, and created absolutely everything is the only definition that I can come up with in words. I'm sorry for not being able to define it in any other way so far as my experience and the feelings therein.
I remember very clearly choosing my father who would in turn choose my mother, and being communicated to (by The Creator) that this was my 3rd and final life, and that I had a specific "mission/job to do/purpose" so to speak, which I was to complete during this lifetime. And, that this opportunity for this particular life was a "gift." I remember seeing my parents standing side-by-side and holding hands. I remember choosing them and choosing certain life experiences and being asked over and over again, "Are you sure," about each choice multiple times.
I also recall receiving a genuine sensation that G-d wasn't happy with me because I'd somehow chosen to die too early and / or not received all of the necessary learning, life lessons, soul evolution and so on that was needed in order for my tiny point of consciousness to exist as an aspect of Him there.
In other words, the communication I received there was that basically, during life we're supposed to glean and receive certain understandings, lessons, learning, and "soul evolution" and none of the "badness" or negativity which also meant basically, a lacking of soul understanding, knowledge and soul learning, could exist there with Him. If I wanted to exist as that tiny point of consciousness, I needed to have certain soul evolution, lessons and understanding but I also needed to get something done.
So.. In MY CASE what I recall receiving in this communication was that I'd not yet completed the learning and evolution and understanding and so on that was necessary for me to exist there as a tiny point of consciousness with Him. I remember feeling like a "wayward little child" just wanting to "please and prove myself to my parent" there which was G-d. I recall thinking that if I chose a difficult and confusing life then I'd certainly prove myself. Just as a wayward little child might think regarding his parents.
I remember being communicated to that memory falls away during our descent into our lives here on earth and that although I HAD communicated to Him that I would absolutely be able to prove myself in this lifetime, and that I did not "need" any additional assistance; that He would be so impressed and pleased with my accomplishments, learning, evolution and understanding and that I would in fact complete my "job" here on earth, that He was going to make it so that I had every possible advantage so far as receiving said necessary learning by letting me remember THIS. In other words, I liken it to a communication along the lines of, "You'll remember at least this so that you'll get your "thing" accomplished so that you can come back here."
I have always believed and still to this day believe that the "thing" I was supposed to accomplish was as follows...
As it was communicated to me:
I believe that my "job" or that "thing" that I was supposed to be doing was leading others, as many as possible, to understand that happiness and fulfillment does reside within The Creator (Origin / Source / Creation) and that the true meaning of existence is to receive said soul understanding, lessons and knowledge and to release the negative, because G-d does in fact exist. All that happens to us though it may seem hard at the time, is actually all about lesson and soul learning and that we all learn from and teach one another in these processes to a degree and that G-d creates a "life plan" for us all. That our PURPOSE is actually to receive this soul experience and that life here is a mere blink compared to eternity, and not to worry so much about what it was that happened before, rather, make the most of one's life here and lead others to The Creator, G-d as well. I was communicated to that it's when we take other paths and look to everything (except) this direction that we end up lost and confused.
1. Yes, there is a Divine Creator, or otherwise known as G-d and He has a plan for each soul being. Each is unique but the objective is the same in the sense that it's all about learning, assisting others not just in good deed and action but also leading others to Truth and Origin (Creation.)
2. Life is all about soul learning, evolution and experience. One's soul being learns intended things to take back with them to become a part of that unconditional love, peace and safety of G-d's love. Trust me, you're going to want to be there.
3. Apparently, we lose memory of this when we descend into this life. Once in this life we may or may not actually remember. There is one thing that He wants us to know which is that He created us in His image and that we all have purpose in this life, but this life is a mere blink compared to all of eternity.
4. It seemed as though people (souls) "do not always need to remember" being in heaven as an aspect of G-d's light and love however some do remember certain things in order to help them complete their tasks and lessons here in this life and by doing so, one gets to return "home."
Back to the pre-birth memory though...
The thing was, ALL I WANTED WAS TO BE RIGHT THERE because the peace, unconditional love and sense of being "secure at home" was so overwhelming, I can't put it into words. I wanted to STAY. I was communicated to though, that NO, but I was receiving an opportunity to prove myself.
The Scary Aspect...
Additionally, I recall being communicated to that if I failed to complete this life and purpose, then I wouldn't be able to "return home" to be in that place of love, peace and security in that light. I believe that the place I was in as that tiny point of consciousness was what we refer to as "heaven." I remember being communicated to that I would bring memories with me to this life so that I wouldn't make these same mistakes again and so I'd stay alive and complete my tasks, so to speak. Sounds insane, I know... but that is not where it ends. But at least you get an idea of why I am writing this particular post now, yes?
I remember that even before I went through the above described process of coming into this life, I chose to die as an infant. I recall being held by my mother and I remember my mother's and father's faces. I remember how easy it was to simply stop breathing, and I remember thinking "I will feel sad for my parents, but I can return home if I stop breathing." I remember the dress my mother was wearing and her long wavy hair when she picked me up. I remember her screaming. I remember my white crib and the little pictures on the bedding. I'm fairly confident I had died as a baby of SIDS, mainly because of the thoughts in my mind at the time I made the choice. I think this life happened sometime around the early 1970's.
Before that, in a previous memory of an even more previous life. I remember being held as an infant by my father. He was some kind of person who was in charge of many who were working to build a building. They were building steps. It may have been Greece based on the steps, the clothing and the way people were working with primitive tools. Whoever my father was, he was very loving. The closest thing I can come up with to resemble it is the Parthenon or a Parthenon-like structure. My father, as I recall it, was taken from me when I was young and I grew up to the age of a young teen and would climb a certain hill often to try to ask for the Gods' help. I remember being told yes, and being told I could marry with a God then being told no, and then later jumping off a cliff of that hill into the water onto rocks due to the fact that I was told no. I have other snippets like glimpses of memories of this lifetime including faces of people, meals with family, feelings I experienced during conversations with friends and family, and I think I lived to about age 12 or 13. I think this life happened around 450 BC.
These memories have haunted me since I was born. I remember as an infant in this life in 1974, the year I was born into this lifetime, looking at my white crib and thinking to myself, "this is a similar crib to the one I had before," referring to my life when I died as a baby from SIDS sometime in the very early 70's.
The Memory Of Traveling After Death
Each life, I remember traveling in the state of being nothing but a tiny point of consciousness, as though a tiny bubble. I remember traveling but I'm not sure if it was up, out, or what direction - simply "traveling" with the other tiny points of consciousness. I remember feeling excited, as though a child on the morning of a birthday party, anxious and anticipating and being pulled into that feeling of "this is love, I remember now, I'm going home." I remember having this experience and not being able to "resist" that pull toward this love feeling of home that was pulling me so strongly with all the other little points of consciousness. Once I arrived, it was as though I took my "place" at the bottom of this giant light. The more "up" you went, the closet to that light's source you were. I believe this was G-d. G-d was both male and female at the exact same time. I remember a sense of knowing, like "this is where I want to be, with my parent." I knew that I had pain from my "life" on earth but it had flitted away slowly like a process - bit by bit - those memories and experiences dissolved. I told myself during that traveling process, "It doesn't matter that those experiences are leaving me. It doesn't matter the sadness that people feel right now that I'm gone, or anything that happens to them in their lives because life is merely a momentary blink compared to this." In my little point of consciousness, this was "eternity." There was no time. There was no fast and no slow. I remember something about thinking "9 days traveling" but I have absolutely no idea what this meant or if it meant anything. In searching online, I cannot find anything about "9 days." I also remember the number 7. I do know that number 7 is G-d's number. A priest once shared that with me, regarding the number 7. I hate math and am scared of it so I'm not sure what this meant either. I don't want to speculate.
Strange Experience With A "Visitor" As An Infant:
I actually remember remembering my memories as a baby. I also had some kind of, what I sensed was a "reminder visitor," coming to my crib when I was an infant. It was frightening and I have zero doubt that this actually happened. IF ANYONE ELSE HAS EXPERIENCED THIS SAME THING, PLEASE DO LET ME KNOW. Whatever it was, it came as a small gray living thing that looked something like a tiny pinky finger that would wave at me from the far side of the crib that was next to the wall. Of course it wasn't a person's finger, I knew the difference even back then. This thing communicated without using language. It was about 2" long and thin and banded, similar to a small finger. No eyes or nose, only a small hole at the top like a mouth. I recall screaming and banging my head against my crib's solid end to get my mother's attention to come help me because that thing scared me so much. As soon as she would come in, the thing would pull it's self back down between the space between the crib mattress and wall again. But when it was there, it would wave back and forth and communicate without words. Of course I've ruled out bugs, cocoons and anything else.
When I eventually had a daughter of my own and when she was 17, she told me she had experienced something similar. She'd said, "Mom, if I'd had my 17 year-old mind and had seen that thing like I did when I was a baby, I'd have screamed my head off. What on earth was that thing?" She is 24 years-old now and still refuses to discuss it half the time because it scares her to think about. The name I remember for my "visitor" was "Bay." Or something like that. My daughter remembers it communicating to her that it was named "Bizay" or "Busy" or something along that sound. Sounds kind of like "Bay."
Her description was a thin being, brownish gray all one color like my thing, but to her it reminded her of more like a broom stick, same metal looking bands around it as I remembered. She also described her being as having had "spiky hair like an upside down broom" but my visitor thing did not have hair. Her visitor thing could move around and communicate without noise much as mine did.
The Family Visitor:
Since there is a paranormal section of this site, I will go ahead and add the fact that we have a family visitor. An old lady who glows blue. This is going to sound absolutely nuts. But, who cares, I'm sick and I have nothing to lose by sharing this experience. If anyone else has ever experienced anything like this, please let me know because it scares me.
There's an old rocking chair and cedar chest set that my great grandmother built. She loved woodworking. The idea is to keep the baby items inside the chest at the foot of the bed and to use the rocker to rock the baby and nurse the baby. A lot of the time, we'd sit on the chest at the foot of the bed and rock the baby when someone cried in the middle of the night. This set is really handy and has been passed between my mother and her 5 siblings and also to me to use, everyone has used it for their babies throughout the years over the decades. Once the kids get old enough, this set gets passed to whoever in the family happens to be pregnant at the time. Since we are a big family, this is fairly often.
Every child in the family, eventually around 2-3 years of age will be being held by it's mother while the mother is seated on the chest facing the rocking chair. The chair in front of us will begin to slightly move on it's own and the child will ask, "Who is that old blue lady in the rocking chair?" I remember seeing her, she's outlined in white and is as clear as day. She glows blue. White hair up in a top bun. My mom asked about her, I asked about her, my daughter asked about her, all my cousins asked and so on. I'd estimate that this set was probably built sometime in the 1920's or 30's because my great-grandmother built them and used them and my grandmother used it in the 40's and 50's, my mother used it for me in the mid 70's and I used it for my daughter in 1994. My aunts used it all throughout the 80's. Everyone has a story about their child asking about the blue lady with white hair in the rocking chair. We assume it's a relative because this "visitor" was coming long before the person who built this set actually passed away. I remember seeing this "ghost" lady clearly but I remember her as being very loving and feeling a desire to be rocked by her, but my mom was there and I was scared because I didn't know her.
So, there you have them: my stories and my memories. My mother is thinking that this lady in the rocking chair is someone who is a relative and is coming to love and visit all the new children of the families. I on the other hand, am not sure. Whether this is some actual visitor or protective thing or just some optical illusion, I'm not sure. Again, it's difficult to speculate and only The Creator really knows.
Would Past Life Regression / Pre-Birth Memories Help Someone?
This is an excellent question. It's my take that The Creator allows us certain pre-birth memory, understanding and knowledge into this life to give us the best possible advantage. He wants the best for us as our Creator and like any good parent, wants to give us the best possible opportunity to "get done what we need to get done," so to speak. Many people look to Past Life Regression or better known as PLR and hypnosis in order to glean enlightenment and clarity.
The thing is though, this begs the question whether or not Past Life Regression is truly helpful. Some claim that it is helpful - and of course, it's very entertaining. I used to be a huge advocate for PLR. I studied Dr. Brian Weiss, along with all of the top regression processes. Most PLR are done in two ways: meditation or hypnosis, and sometimes a combination of both. But this in turn begs the question whether or not Past Life regression is actually intended. And this takes us back to Deuteronomy 18:10. This n turn also begs the question about whether what we receive happens to be actual past life memories, or if they happen to be fabricated memories which come from experiences of meditation or hypnosis itself.
I cannot tell someone what to do, or what not to do. As you know, I am a huge proponent for anything that makes someone feel good. But it's my personal opinion that we spend way too much time focusing on "what our past was" versus "how to create a meaningful life for ourselves in the present." While seeing glimpses of one's previous life - whether accurate or confabulated and fabricated memory - may be very entertaining and fun, we know that one's true life purpose has to do with living a good life here and now, including moving forward within it. It also has to do with the necessary soul evolution, understanding, learning, etc., that we need to receive (as I mentioned above) in order to achieve eternity, right?
Now, I do not pretend to channel angels or the Creator or anything because that would be very wrong indeed. However, God speaks to me just as He speaks to every single soul being in this universe. I am not judging, because that too is very wrong. It is however my personal opinion that if we were "intended" to know something or learn something, then we absolutely will. G-d sees to this and gives us opportunity, and this is where I personally believe that our free will and freedom of choice comes in. In other words, I believe that we have the freedom of choice to learn and receive our life lessons which are in turn soul lessons (such as via experiences) but if we spend too much time trying to understand "all that happened before," we lose our focus on what we're supposed to be doing right now.
Let me give you an example...
Many times (way too many to count) I've had people come to me who have said that they were "told" by someone that they "shared past lives" with someone else. Maybe they heard this from a psychic, had some "akashic records reading," or maybe they came to this idea through PLR or maybe meditation themselves, or maybe they gleaned this somehow from some feeling they happened to have. Whatever it was, they are absolutely certain they've had past lives with someone else and for whatever reason, they think that this is their last shot at being in a loving romantic relationship with said individual.
HINT: This is why I become so upset with people claiming to "read the akashic records of others." Yep... YOUR past is YOUR PAST and no one else's but again, this is only my personal opinion.
So they come to me all worried, and asking what the fastest way they can take to reach the loving relationship with this supposed "intended soulmate or Twin Flame" or whatever label they're using today, and I give them some sound advice to help. However, I always remind them that THEY HAVE CHOICE. There is no "universal law" that says they MUST DO what some other person has told them to do. This is why I get upset. If an intended connection is in fact intended, it will happen. If learning from a certain connection is intended, it will also happen.
It's my personal opinion that when some psychic or alleged record reader tells someone that "this is your only path, your true destiny," then how does that impact the person? It takes away their CHOICES. This is playing G-d and in my opinion, doing so is very wrong. I don't believe that The Creator would make it so that two people were intended to achieve a beautiful Union together for the purposes of unconditional love and doing wonderful good things in this lifetime and then keep them apart - until, that is, said person is lucky enough to cross paths with some psychic or akashic records reader or PLR hypnotist.
It's also my opinion that the soul knowledge and learning we bring to this life, we have it with us and it comes from our experiences and from G-d Himself, what He puts before us through which to learn. We draw on this to get through our lives. We have experiences in life that teach us things...and then later on, we draw on those experiences and what we received during them in order to get through.
Example: Have you ever seen a delicious looking berry and wanted to eat it, but your intuition in your gut says no? Then maybe you look that berry up online or in a book and you find out that it was a poison berry. Had you eaten it, you'd have gotten pretty sick, maybe even died. But your gut said, "Do not eat that berry." (This exact same thing happened to me once in my garden regarding a delicious looking white flower I'd considered adding to decorate a cake I'd made.) Your gut instincts are there for a reason. They didn't arrive by accident. We have evolved as people and our ancestors learned the hard way and because of them, we have it a bit easier (like having books through which to look up various types of wild berries and so on.) We talk about "guardian angels protecting us," but I actually liken this to G-d protecting us. We've discussed in my previous posts all about testing one's feelings against logic to figure out whether said feeling was safe and of G-d or if it was something else potentially dangerous.
So, what's the meaning of life then? Any ideas on why pre-birth memory even exists, then? To help or to hinder us?
I can't speak for G-d. However, I can share my personal beliefs with you. Please understand that first, each life is precious and unique in its own way. Each set of experiences are unique in their own way but people's experiences are oftentimes kind of similar and I liken this to the fact that we have certain soul evolutionary lessons to learn while we're here.
It's my personal opinion that some of us happen to have certain pre-birth memories to help assist us in various ways. I believe it's unique in certain respects for each individual, too. Examples might be assistance in bringing our true purposes to fruition, or remembering that there is truly a G-d and an eternity, and so on.
For example, there have been many times, probably too many to really even try to count, that I intentionally did something (or vice versa and did not do something) because I knew for a fact that G-d exists. I didn't want to "do wrong." There have been other times I've done things and looked back in hindsight and thought to myself, "Oh no, what might G-d think, look what I have done."
I believe sometimes these pre-birth memories for some of us, are in place for good reason. Again, I cannot speak on behalf of The Creator but I like to believe that He has pretty good reason for absolutely everything.
The thing though that I don't want people to do is to become trapped in some stagnation based on the words of someone else who is not them. The thing is, maybe G-d really wants us to remember certain things but sometimes not. I don't think we should try to play G-d. That's His job, not ours. he tells us not to judge, not to take His role, but to live our lives well always doing right by His word. But there's a lot of stuff I keep seeing and hearing about...
I once saw this woman who had done some PLR thing on a YouTube video and she had an experience where she "remembered" all sorts of things, and she began chasing, looking to find out the person she was in her previous existence. Her life appears consumed and there's such a thing as triggering memory aspects of real memory but they become muddled with actual memory and experience along with whatever she "channeled" and she's basically upsetting her entire life. Going down a not so good path in order to fill up a void she's experience somewhere else in her life.
Another woman I spoke with once long ago told me that she'd been told by an "akashic records reader and also several psychics" that she'd had 5 past lives with her "Twin Flame" and that this was her last chance to be with them and she was planning to break up her marriage in order to do so. Said alleged Twin Flame had rejected her and moved on - yet she was bound and determined - this was it. But she didn't want to leave her marriage unless she received confirmation that said "twin flame" would absolutely be there for her once she divorced her husband. In other words, a bird in the hand and so on... Clearly this woman had voids and issues she wasn't addressing. And, she wanted ME to basically make said choices FOR HER, give her "permission" to leave her marriage or tell her to stay and work it out. Apparently the marriage wasn't a bad one, she just didn't "feel as connected" with her spouse as she felt with her alleged "twin flame." So, she wanted me to READ THE MIND of this man, tell her future, and make all of her choices for her. Really?
As a spiritual counselor, that's a wee bit above my proverbial pay grade.
And NO ONE and I don't care who they claim to be, is a mind reader. I could've gone into that old story about sending the late-model Honda to the scrap yard because it required an oil change and break lights, but I didn't. I did not want to sound mean. Instead, I told her that she had choices and told her what I believed she'd end up choosing based on what we discussed and what sense I got from her. IF THERE IS ONE THING I WOULD NEVER DO AND NEVER WILL DO IS TAKE AWAY SOMEONE ELSE'S CHOICES. And knowing that people tend to hear only what they want to hear, one must be extremely careful in how we communicate with one another.
I think that pre-birth memories do help guide us in certain directions, absolutely. But I hear way too often about how people are talking to these "readers" and they end up thinking and believing that their lives and happiness basically depends upon one thing. Technically, it does and that's of course what you probably already know what I'm about to say here (believing in and understanding Truth of Origin, Source and Creation) but you're never going to find that in a magic crystal ball - or in some "channeled" records reading (just my personal opinion.)
It's my take that if people began living their lives as they intuitively and personally know is RIGHT then these types of questions - including the issues and situations that create them - would simply cease to exist, at least to a degree.
If one has any pre-birth memory, look at this memory carefully. Make sure it's true and not something conceived as a confabulated or fabricated memory because you fell asleep during a guided meditation had or a dream because someone told you. If you have any pre-birth memories, you've likely always had them. Look at them carefully. What do they tell you? Hint: Ask as I've described in previous posts. You will always receive your answer, you just have to listen.
I hope that this helps you. If anyone has also experienced pre-birth memory please feel free to let us know. Comment to share with others. People with these memories are not any better or more evolved or more intelligent than anyone else, so if you have not experienced one, it's perfectly okay. We are all created equally. I'd like to hear others' ideas about pre-birth memories, what you may remember (if anything) and your stances on this subject about how The Creator gifts us with them.