Have A Laugh: What Men Are REALLY Thinking!

If you have met your twin flame or if you've ever had a soul mate, or if you have ever known a man, this will make you laugh and cry (the good kind of tears.) A male friend of mine wrote this and I added a few to the list that I got from guys I know.

1. If you showed up for our date wearing a florescent orange jumpsuit and purple high top sneakers, we'd just think it was some kind of fashion statement. We really don't understand women's fashion as much as you'd like us to.

2. We hear your words when you talk to us. And, we really, really, really want to understand what you're saying. We really do.

3. We're a lot like your dog, which is why we like dogs so much. When you look at your dog, you know exactly how he feels. You can tell if he's happy or sad, hungry or scared, or if he's deep in doggie thought. We're just like him.

4. We really don't notice your "major zit" as much as you do. We may see it, but we really aren't that concerned about that 1/1000th of your body.

5. We do notice when you paint up your nails like the Sistine Chapel then encrust them with little jewels and dangly things. It both fascinates us as well as terrifies us.

6. We like it when you wear a pony tail. We also dig yoga pants.

7. Like squirrels, we are fascinated and entranced by sparkly things. We especially like sparkling earrings that don't look like they're going to cut us if we move in for a kiss.

8. When you only order a side salad as an entree, we aren't impressed and assume you're full of dieting willpower. We're wondering if something's wrong with the restaurant or if you have a crazy scary food allergy, and we assume we've done wrong.

9. We do notice your purse, but we don't notice your shoes (unless we have a foot fetish which is more common than you think, or unless you're in those purple high tops.) When you wear extremely expensive brands, we always wonder if you're going to expect us to furnish you with a lifestyle we can't afford.

10. Like I said, we notice your purse. if you have a ton of things in it, we sometimes assume you're "high maintenance."

11. We do secretly look at your hot friends. All. Of. Them.

12. We do actually slightly...kind of encourage the flirting with other women when you're not around even though we say we don't, because we like the attention. It lets us know we've still got it going on. But you have nothing to worry about, if we were interested in someone else, we'd have asked them out already and broken up with you.

13. On the flip side, if there's a woman who we know really, really likes us, we avoid her like the plague because we don't want to hurt her feelings or end up in some uncomfortable conversation/situation.

14. We do look at some kind of porn. For 50% of us, it's some kink we really don't want to share. it has nothing to do with you, and sometimes we even watch it because we're just bored.

15. We think women get into relationships to try and help mold us into better men; to change us, and we men get into relationships hoping the woman won't start to change.

16. We like to cuddle and have romantic pillow talk, even with women we're not in love with.

17. The farther away you are, the more romantic I can be, especially if I am married because it's "safe."

18. If I have a girlfriend and no children with her, don't wait on me. Ending it with a girlfriend is way easier than ending it with a wife. If I have a girlfriend and I've not ended it with her to be able to date you, I'm probably not going to.

19. If I'm a single guy and I've not asked you out, I'm either not interested or I'm into other guys.

20. We men want to feel as intensely as you do, we really do. But if it's just not happening, we will bail. We're really bad about using you women for sex, so be careful.

21. For us, "guy time" is a chance to be the horrible monsters we don't want you to know we like to be around each other, so please let us go with our guys.

22. We are very logical thinkers. We won't do something unless it makes sense to us. We also hate change, and we like things to remain on an easy, even keel.

23. We sometimes actually get physically sick at the thought of the woman we love being with another guy.

24. If you chase us, we will probably run out of instinct of being chased. if you stand still, we'l come forward.

25. We value our autonomy. Please don't steal it.

26. We usually do not deal with feelings unless we have to, so it's usually when something is going badly. That makes us feel out of control. An invitation to dissect and discuss our feelings is like an invitation to feel out of control, so we don't usually like to do that unless we have to.

27. It takes a lot of courage to ask you out, so if you're not interested please let us down easy.

28. We like it when you're relaxed and on an even keel. Cool. So be cool like Fonzie.

29. We want you to think we have everything totally under control and going well. Please never shame us, especially in public.

30. We sometimes will use physical intimacy to make up. And, we hope you won't start talking about whatever the fight was about when we're finished.

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