How To: Handle When He Doesn't Call You Back

As a relationship coach, this is one of the most common questions I receive. It can be confusing to women who are dating to find their right match, when someone you thought you really hit it off with doesn't respond as you'd anticipated. It's a disappointment when he asks for your number, and you don't hear from him after the first date. Or, after you've been dating a while, and all of a sudden, he pulls away. You may have done everything absolutely right, but in your mind, you're replaying conversations and scenarios as you wonder what happened.

I have interviewed many men about why they don't follow up after the first meeting. You, as the woman, may have done absolutely nothing wrong. You were witty, sweet, demure, receptive. You may have looked gorgeous. There are, in most cases, things a man carries with him in the back of his mind from previous relationships. Maybe even from a relationship that he had a long time ago. A simple comment can actually turna ccertain man off all together, without you realizing it. For example, if he dated a woman who was too concerned about money. You might make a simple, innocent comment like, "I wish my boss paid me more." While the comment was innocent enough, here's what happens: The man goes home after the date, and he remembers your comment as he thinks about how nice the date went. That comment brings up subconscious memories of the previous relationship with the other woman, even if it wasn't a very long or intense relationship in the broad spectrum of his life. Subconsciously, he starts to think about the comment and attaches those negative emotions to you.
He doesn't even realize this is happening, but he can't help but feel negatively toward you. What's terrible for the woman, is that she has no way of knowing that fear he still carries exists. So she's confused when he doesn't call. Even if any guy on the planet would have loved the way you were with this guy during the date, you can't help the subconscious mind. Don't spend time worrying about why he doesn't call, because he's already formed his opinion and attachment of negative emotions. Instead, keep moving forward with your own life and don't become discouraged in dating. The right relationship will present it's self at the right time. 

Aside from the above, there are other reasons that he may pull away from you. It may be a combination of things. Unless you've invested your heart into the relationship, it's not worth spending hours on end worrying. Men pull away for various reasons. Most have a pattern of pulling back twice in relationships: First, a few months in, he'll pull back and decide whether or not you're someone he'd like to move forward with. The second, is when he decides whether or not he wants to be more serious with you. Example, exclusivity, commitment, etc. When he pulls back, you'll need the important tools to understand why, and know how not to lose him.
Now that you understand why he's pulling back, call me here to empower yourself with the understanding and tools you'll need to protect your relationship.


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